Thursday, July 7
ahh today. what was meant to be a blessed day of relief. sigh. i really am going to do my chinese hwk and pass it up in the morning. really. gp.. we'll see. chinese oral was dreadful. honestly i am such an idiot. got back 2/3 of econs and all of math. :( i refrain from complaining because i fear being beaten up. i guess we've all got different expectations. like if i get d7 for chinese, as long as i am not at the losing end because of it, i guess i can swallow that. hell, i swallowed entering hwachong with the lowest chinese marks. guess i can handle a repeat performance of that in nus. accidentally msged a junior on my way for guides. i meant to msg jan regarding my math. but you see the junior's name is jane, and my finger slipped. arghhhh. i knew that was gonna happen someday. i should stop msging janet very personal things. such as my marks, and random things like 'oooh! the girl with funky hair just smiled in my direction!' [this was applicable 3 months ago] and yeah. heh heh.
donkey years down the road, i'm no better at starting fires. well for one i'm really terrified of getting scolded for having a dirty skirt so i didn't dare get down flat on my face even in my tshirt. sat around outside the guideroom after that chatting with a couple of juniors. hahaha. it was quite funny. kinda reminded me of how we used to sit around inside or outside the guideroom after school.. sometimes just us pls, sometimes with the yas. and totally crapping. haha. 'those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end, we'd sing and dance forever and a day.. ' heh. they said jc sounds fun. guess it sounded fun to us too when we listened to our seniors talk. know how the 'grass is greener on the other side' theory can be proven? well. that's always the case huh. but to be all cynical and pessimistic.. i don't know, what's the best method?
i've got a splitting headache from the smoke just now. was ignoring it for a few hours but now it's unbearable. it'll be fine though.
why does everyone seem convinced i'm fierce and scary? :( teachers always think i'm so sweet and softspoken and demure. until some guy pisses me off and i scold him upside down in class. what a way to ruin reputations.
you would never ask me why my heart is so disguised.. i just can't live a lie anymore. i would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry.. there's nothing left to say.. but goodbye.
it must've been love.
7:26 pm
xoxo
